Its the only link i have with my past now.

But i have no idea what to type. Shit.

Have been really busy lately. Everytime i want to efit photos, ill end up deleting everything. Lets see…

THE HAPPY DAYS

• Jeslin’s wedding dinner. Almost cried when she walked down the aisle.
• BKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
• Quarrelled with Winnie. But we’re good now. So its a happy day. Haha
• IAF PAPER PIECE OF CAKE LAHHHHHHHH
• Have you spread the BUTTER tonight? Yes. Zouk is OUT.
• Magarita’s at Dempsey for dinner + Romantic
• Dad bought back DURIAN CAKE! heeheehee
• Neighbour told my dad im very slim. Heehee

SCREW THIS!

1. People drunk dialing me
2. People drunk dialing me
3. People drunk dialing me
4. I just found out that my crush (my dermatalogist) is married. FUCK!
5. Went nuts studying IAF
6. Having been found out by people I was at Butter instead of home studying. An excuse i feigned. Yahhhhhhhh FUCK!

Lastly,

I WANT MONEY, BIKINIS, SEXY CHOOS, ROSE TEA, CLUTCHES & HOT AND HEAVY.

Get this straight – through all the lies, manipulation and fights, you brought out the worst in me. All there was from you was “dont do this” & “dont do that”. Listen up sucker. NO ONE OWNS ME BUT ME. You can’t dominate me. You can’t conquer me. Never has been, never will be.

You don’t have what it takes, boy.

You follow? Or do I have to spell everything out for you?

Next -

When I said we were done, we truely are. FINITO . FINISHED. LIQUIDATED.

Capice?

Third -

I want someone i can rely on. Not someone depending on me to fix his schedule or to check your fucking report on for english errors. See? This relationship has never been equal.

I have never needed you. Because I’m better than you.

And more-

I HATE STINGY MEN. Period.

Ohhhhhh let me count thee ways you have been…

STILL MORE –

I hate routines, baby. You know that. Everyone knows that. I will only believe its love when I’ll never be bored even after 2 months into the r/s. You wasted 10 fucking months of my time.

No thanks to you. And what a blind fool I have been.

RIGHT BACK TO YOU -

Cont’d from Point 4.

You said I’m materialistic? Did you? HAHAHAHAHA. If i’m a gold digger, I WOULD NEVER be with a cheapo like you. Like I said, 10 months. 10 months is my longest r/s and i got nothing in return. Did i ask you for a chanel bag? A versace dress? Oh honey. You can’t afford me. Still, I HAVE NEVER ASKED YOU TO BUY ME ANYTHING. And how dare you call me that.

The heels i walk in, i bought my own.

The bag i carry, I bought it myself.

The dress i wear, my own.

I can buy my own diamond rings, my own food and my own “materialistic” type clothes. I have only dined with you in a restaurant ONCE. Don’t make a big deal out if it. Stop harping about how Chomp chomp and Ikea is the perfect dinner you buy me.

OH AND PEOPLE, you know about my holidays, dining and entertaiment? None of them was with him, btw. I paid for it myself BUT he made me blog as if I was with him. That only he can afford it. I still have 1 month worth of photos btw.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPS! OH NO! The cat is out of the bag. Tsk tsk tsk. That is what you get for calling me materialistic, BITCH. Don’t blame me honey. The truth is all there is.

ITS NOT OVER YET! -

I have never needed a man. I did wanted you, i admit. But when I did not even CRAVE for you anymore, there is nothing left. No passion. No ecstasy.

I want a jungle set on fire. Not a one-second spark.

ALSO -

You can go ahead spreading rumours about me. She did this & he did that. Well i don’t give a rat’s ass. So you can go spread that.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST -

You forced me to do this.  Before what you did today, I was civil. You got your many many chances. This niceties are now gone. So 2 words for you – FUCK OFF!

AND HERE IS ONE MORE THING TO PISS YOU OFF -

Heehee. I’m happy without you in my life. I have fun with my girlfriends wherever I go. I don’t feel a weight on my shoulder like the past. I’m relieved we broke up, really. You should be too. Since the gold digger is GONE GONE GONE from your life.  Heehee =)

See. I told you not to piss me off. You never hear me. But its too bad i have bigger balls than you. But don’t worry! Not a lot of people read my blog. I can publicise it if you want!

Also, I’m moving blog – where not a single post is about you.

Hell, all i wanted to do was get some Sam Raimi loving and I got so pussied out i flipped my popcorn all over me. The popcorn flew to the couple in front of me. So just imagine – old lady freak scene comes out, i screamed, flipped popcorn over couple in front, couple got a shock from the scene + the terror of popcorn falling from them from behing probably thinking it was the old lady coming to grab them. HAHAHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

It was the only time i laughed in the movie. Got home and immediately checked under my bed and went through my cardboards in case anything is hiding inside. My reading light is on. And i got a cross beside me. You know, just in case.

Am moving blog soon. New name, new life. Have tons of things to upload there then. In the meatime, SYDNEY HO WEIQI, where are my photos bird?

1st -

I felt as if a truck just banged me down & was injected with morphine. What i saw was a golden haired boy (dyed), tall and skinny. But at that time, i would have described him as tall, fair and gorgeously handsome. An ah beng. I was 14 – an idiot.  4 words. Infatuation at first sight. I bumped into him countless times at J8. A crush so bad to the extent that i will go to J8 with BFF EVERYDAY without fail. All just to get a puny glance at him & admiring from afar. Pure bliss. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Everytime when he casually look over his shoulder or when our eyes met, i think fireworks exploded in my heart. I’ll pretend not to be interested and ask my female soldiers to check if he is looking at me. Heehee. (Wingwoman in bar terms. I guess i was already a bitch in training then. Haha)  

I was so BLOODY FUSTRATED when after months of oogling him, i have no idea what his name was and all. Hell, my first crush and it was an ah beng. Love is blind. Very cocked eye. Now that i think about it, he wasn’t good looking at all. Average, to say the least. I forced BFF to practise with me in school everyday to “accidentally” push me to him & TADA – he will support me ala prince charming style and we will live happily after. NOT. (And we looked like fools pushing each other. She pushed me wrongly, i push her back) Anyway, apparently he and his group of friends noticed us. One fine day, his friend approached me and i was so high. I knew it. This is lurrrrrrrrrrrrvvvvvvvvve!!!!!!!! I knew he was just too shy so he asked his friend to help him instead. WRONG! W.R.O.N.G. WRONG!

Turns out that it was his friend that was interested in me all along. To think i put up with the shitty trouble of going to go J8, play arcade games and para para madeness. I went from confident sick-head to self-doubt in 30 seconds.

Bah! 1 year of pure delirium. And stupidity.

And in case you’re wondering what happened, i dated his friend for 2 months. With a ulterior motive lah. Just to see my ah beng and know him better. Yah, im such a little cunt. Oh well, i wasn’t much of a looker anyway.

2nd -

My best guy friend. If shame had a face, it will be me. He has dearly departed for almost 2 years and it is only now do i have the guts to admit it.

I had a thing for him when i first saw him. He was a cocky son of a bitch. Then again, im a sucker for bad boys and arrogant a-holes. It wasn’t a crush wherby i fell  hard. I just liked his character. It was rare. Hard to understand & hard to like – till you know him. Anyway we got off on a wrong start and although we met often, i carried it with abit of rancor & enmity. Yet somehow, dislike turned into content & then turned into my very best friend. From all that fights and heart-to-hearts to clubbing and running away from home.

I loved him so much (as akin of a friend). However, a big fight ruined the both of us. Lets just say for me, its impossible for friends to turn into lovers. All there will be left of is dregs and remnants of when was supposed to be an unbroken friendship. Even when we patch things up, nothing was ever the same again. I have to admit, I saw it coming. Yet when the time came, i was caught dumbfounded. I was as if Harry Potter just cast a spell on me. Confounded. The air got hard to beathe and word said was filled with anxiety. We cut off contact. I was probably titled – the fucking bitch.

Still, it takes more than heartbreaks to get to me.

Till he died.

Still, i genuinely cared for him.

I hope you are happy in heaven, best friend. =))) Everyday spent with you was never a bore. I was/am happy. And you should know that you’ll always have a piece of me. Words are useless but, I’m really happy I met you. That you have always been in my life.

I appreciate it girls!

From Cookies Museum to Brotzeit, St.James to Zouk & Shots to Long Island.

Ohhhh what would life be without youuuuuuuuuuuuu?

And this is for you :

I have no idea how else to tell you this so just read. This was my longest relationship I’ve ever had. 10 months.  I asked myself, “When was the last time i was truely happy with you?” I can only remember the fights. We are 2 completely different people. You are someone i never thought i could be with. Still, i brought along with me the hope and faith. When I was with you, i didn’t have to try to be perfect. But the fights turned me into someone ugly. Someone whose character can only be described as filthy. I became someone I hated.

I am sick, so sick of the fights. Everyday was exhausting, to say the least. I can’t breathe. I was drained. Our conversations are throughly meaningless. Don’t force me. Don’t keep pushing me. Don’t say i did not ever try to salvage this relationsip. Forget the implications, the infatuation is gone. Before you, I was happy. Independent. But these bad days have got me down.

Like I said, I’ve became someone I don’t even recognize. If love was supposed to make you happy, I can tell you this isn’t even close to it. We didn’t have trust, we don’t have anything.

Here, I took all the wrong turns, drove on the wrong roads and none of them lead me home.

 Here is cheers to the future because the past is over.

I had so much fun  for the water rafting but i got scolded endless by the guide. Hahahahahha. Bloody hell. No one has scolded me like that before and i felt like pouncing to the back and twist his neck off. Arms ached like fuck and i was screaming like a banshee whenever we hit a rock. I look like a fucking joke man.

But I have to say, Bali disappointed me quite a bit. Food was getting more expensive but less delicious.

On Phuket next post.

Its my family & my friends who can make me so happy and make me filled with love, honesty and pride. I am really thankful for having all of your as part of my life. You guys affect me in so many different ways and I have become what you have given me. When i’m hurting bad beneath, you guys makes my day brighter. I can be stubbornly filled with reckless emotions and do all stupid things when together.

I’m sad when you write your blog with such melancholic thoughts or when I can’t be by your side when you feel cast aside and heartbroken. We have changed a lot. Or can it be said as… we are walking to our right paths in life? We hardly meet as often now and… for one, I am grateful for we have the internet where we can communicate – through our blogs.

When you feel as if the whole world has abandoned you, I’m dutifully here. 

Never say you have no one when I’m a call away.

You know you never have to put a mask in front of me and sugarcoat anything.

I hope your lives will be filled with only happy things & a healthy soul.

This is NOT  suicidal note. I started to blog out about Bali and when i started listening to Class 95′s love songs in the background….. BAM! I am writing love songs… in my own fashion. However, everything I say here is heartfelt and true. I love all of you and… when you’re down, I’m here.

Back from Hk, heading to Bali tmr. And that is not the end of it. 3 more trips lined up & there will be more till I’m happy.

Caught Xmen Origins : Wolverine

The only reason I watch is is because of Daniel Henney playing Zero.

I love to see them in action. A bunch of hunky men fighting. Whats not to like? But the show is mindless fun now I think about it.

Angels & Demons

Don’t bother watching. The book wins hands down.

The only reason I watched it was because Im a bigass fan of Dan Brown. My favourite author, Sidney Sheldon, is dead & all my hopes are pinned on Brown. Thanks for screwing up my favourite parts which were not shown/disastrous scene to whoever the scriptwriter is.

%$&%^(#$&%$(^&!(^&(%&#!

Im waiting for your highly anticipated fifth book, Mr Brown!

 ENO

Elaine’s Night Out.

HAHAHAHAHAHHA.

Had my facial at town on a weeknight & then bought a couple of books at Borders & settled myself for dinner at Borders Bistro with a very unhappy someone who was extremely pissed at me because i stood her up. (No names)

Their cold bread. Joy.

 Their “house specialty”. What bullshit.

I always order medium rare at restaurants because they always give it to me medium. Here, they gave it to me well done.

I’m full of complaints today because the weather is a KILLER. I’m sweating the crap out from my whole body & walking under the sun for a mere minute drove me nuts. My nose is dripping off my face and my armpit sweat can fill an Evian bottle. Was bitching to my therapist the whole time till i fell asleep. When i woke up, half of my eyebrows are gone.

Please give me a warning before you pluck or whatever.

I don’t have much hair left, you know. =(

Gee, ive not been blogging for so long that im brimming with topics to say! The top of my hit list is Seoul. I have never ever had any desire to go SK till I watched BOF. Also, IM COMING FOR YOU BIG BANG!

hEEHEEEHEEEheeeHeeeeHEEEEEEEheeeeeHEEEEEEEE

Lolli lolli oh lollipop. lolli lolli oh lolli lolli pop pop….

Lastly, I dont give a damn that Megan Fox is a transgender. She was the only one that made me wanted to be a lesbian.

• Mummy’s birthday spent on a diamond necklace, drinks at New Asia Bar & dinner at Equinox. Burnt a big hole but I get to see a happy smile on her lips.
• Cousin Alan’s wedding dinner at Shangri-La.
• Starbuck-ing the afternoons away with Catch 22 & Shatter.
• Feli’s baby very belated birthday! (Dinner + Movies)
• Ivy – Clarke Quay & Mac lovin!
• Re-watching Boys Before Flowers & Ill say BIG BANGGGGGGGGG!
• TECKTONIC!!!

The things I want to say:

• Bff please take care & recover soon! You’re going around scaring people with your flu like symptoms.
• Ivy baby, you know I’m always here.

 And now…

Hk

Tw

Sin

Bali

Sin

Take him and cut him out into a little star
and he will make the face of heaven so fine
that all of the world will be in love with night.

- Shakespeare

FRIDAY – ARTY, FARTY & DRINKY.

Hahahahahha. This was sometime back and we caught

Kumar : Stripped bare & Standing up @ Esplanade.

Well, Im not a fan of SG dramas (both chinese & english) & can think up of a string of insults. Even the overhyped Little Nyonya and Red Thread can’t match my expectations. BORING BORING & EVEN MORE BORING.  But what i do love is the SG theatre art scenes. Dramatic but mostly graceful & I will say its the only outstanding & premium shows out of SG media industry.

Dinner at Paulaner after show.

Drinks at Roomful of Blues.

With the band. AND, THEY ARE FANTASTIC AS HELL. Seriously! This bar is not as popular & I was pretty ambivalent to head there since Im more of a “club” girl. But really, the music was mind-blowing. Oh, and the crowd is awesome.

Although one is an uncle but he is a damn hip one.

The next Friday – Grand Hyatt

Booked a room at GH, SG. Yes in Sg. Hahahhahaha.

Dinner at Pete’s place, their resident eatery first.

Got my fav Tiramisu from Da Paolo!

Its tiring facing the screen & edit photos man.

Blog the rest some other time. hahaha

So i was walking down the escalator + smsing & I fucking tripped. Fell 6/7 steps down. Okay look, i’m accustomed to wearing heels all the time although tolerance max is 5.5 inches. Any higher and ill fall flat on my face. BUT, when i wear sandals, i ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS fall down. Without fail. At least 5 times a day. But im fucking determined to walk like a shu nu w/o falling over every single time.

Back to topic, a 20+ y.o couple was standing at the side and staring at me and that burst every bit of my fiber into flames. OI FUCKERS, im a pathetic sight lying on the floor already & you can’t move 5 steps to help me ah? My leg was bleeding but all my wrath was directed at that stupid couple. I was so bloody pissed that I didn’t know it bled till 5 hours later. Seriously. Also, my shopping loots flew all over the place & I was scrambling around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to grab everything back. Pathetic sight no.2

I’m not even embarrassed man. More like shooting daggers at that loutish, uncivilized, rude *&*^(%&%$&^#&$%**(&(&%^(%*$&#!!*%^

Lesson learnt: No more sandals from now.

Good for whoever coined the word “Ugly Singaporeans”.

In a pissy mood now. Gonna edit the Tokyo trip photos to get over that no good son of a bitches.